Untitled Life Post #2: Post-Grad.

You might have noticed that I've probably remembered to post to this blog about 15 times in the last two years... Oops! Consistency is something I'm only good at when I'm painting.. As for other aspects of my life, not so much.

But for real... WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO?

This is going to be a long post. I'm only a little sorry.... I'm not sorry.

ANYWAY, My last significant post on here was rounding up my MFA candidacy show in December 2014... Damn, how time flies! I'll try to update you as thoroughly as I can... A LOT has happened.

hung up (dad's shirt), 2015.

My Spring 2015 semester (post candidacy) was a great time to think about what I wanted to get out of my thesis year at Edinboro... I knew I wanted to continue with notions of absence and presence in my work, but I wasn't sure how to move on, as I was kind of over teabags (more on that later). After a few paintings that didn't work out, I took summer to research and really nail down what I wanted to communicate... Or what I thought I wanted to...

Close-up image of a teabag relic.

My summer consisted of both my first publication (of the painting on the left) in the Bridge Literary Arts Review (Oil City, PA,), as well as a show at the Graffiti Gallery in Oil City, PA, titled Junk IV. This show allowed for artists to showcase their pieces rooted in mixed media exploration- here are the three pieces I entered: TEABAG RELICS! I've posted a closeup of one of the relics for you to feast your eyes upon. I wasn't sure that they were successful for a minute, but the longer I hold onto them, the more I appreciate their presence in my process. Woo, alliteration!

The best painting from my
nose dive, "eddie vedder"

Fall 2015 started off on two left feet!! Though I was creating paintings, I wasn't creating anything worthy of an MFA thesis exhibition. To say I was creating shit might be a strong word.. But then again, it might not be. Many of the paintings haven't survived, as I've painted over them.. Some I've given away, and I even left a few in my studio when I left! Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes we derail completely and need smacked around by our grad committee (Disclaimer: My graduate committee never beat me, although I'm sure they thought about it, with a nose-dive so close to graduation.) What did I learn from that, you ask? That yes- you're going to make mistakes, and yes, they're going to be awful... But, guess what: It's gonna be alright. Get up and get back to work. After getting my wits about me again, I sat back down to my easel and looked at what had been successful in the past- teabags, of course! The main issue was that the surrogates I was choosing simply weren't communicating. You might ask yourself why I'm telling you about this brief moment of failure: I do it because I think it's important for future MFA-goers to understand that yes; not only will you fall on your face, but you'll fall on your face multiple times and even stay on the ground, trying to figure out why the hell you decided to leap into the frying pan of graduate school... I promise you, once you get out of the frying pan and get to work, everything is going to be fine.

MOVING RIGHT ON TO BETTER THINGS!!

One of my more recent teabag
babes, "Morning Glory" 

My last semester (this past one) was far more successful. Of course I had some hangups that I still had to iron out before my show, but everything went a lot smoother, and I was starting to see a little success! In January, I was accepted into the 11th issue of Fresh Paint Magazine alongside my studio mate, Josh Mitchel (website here). Later on in March, I was accepted into both the Vermont Studio Center and Sparkbox Studio, for July and October residencies, respectively. In addition to these wonderful things, I was featured in two "studio visit" style publications, one on Fresh Paint Magazine's website and Hyperallergic's blog! To say that I'm stoked is an understatement. As for how my thesis show went, I'll be doing a separate post on that, as I feel it deserves it's own recognition.

So, what's next? Well, I leave for my 29-hour bus ride to Vermont in a little under four weeks! (My car won't make it that far, but a Greyhound will!) While I'm there, I'm going to train myself to be more diligent about writing blog posts weekly, so that you all have a bit more to read! Motivation to write should come with motivation to work, but for me, it sometimes doesn't. Vermont is going to help with that, I think. The residency is a month long, and I was even lucky enough to have about 1/3 of it paid for through a work/study scholarship and merit scholarship! I'm super excited, as you can probably not tell at all. :)

Until next time!

Best, 

C.

Epiphany

It's really quite amazing, the things that find their way into your train of thought when you're up late in the studio. Tonight, I had a sort of epiphany about not only my work, but myself as well. It all goes back to my artist statement issues that I wrote about previously- what is it that I'm trying to say, here?

I know now.

Yes, my work is about absence and presence- it's absolutely about the impermanence of life, and the dichotomy of alienation vs. community. But you know what the root of all of this really is?

Loss.

My inability to cope with loss, and the attempt to work through it in paint. I have to say, now that I really know what I'm getting at here, the statement I've written about my work makes sense- it hits close to home, and it's (finally) deeply personal. During a great conversation with a fellow painter in the studio tonight (who, much like the other painting grads at Edinboro, has quickly become one of my brothers in the last year), I discovered that I've never really understood or accepted the losses that have occurred in my life- that though I've moved past them and grown from their lessons, I've never fully allowed myself to accept them. Call it letting go, even- I'm simply horrible at it, and my work is helping me to finally gain the strength to combat these issues head on.

It's nice, really.

The conversation I was having tonight dealt with losses within our families- I lost my maternal grandfather my senior year of high school, and although I felt for the longest time that I had finally moved on, I hadn't accepted his passing... This made me think quite a bit.

I paint things that we commonly throw away, because I don't want to throw away their memory. I paint these things because I can't throw away my emotions, or my losses- and I shouldn't have to, but it's this inability to accept these losses that drives me to paint teabags, portraits, and really, everything. 

Painting is hard- so is coping with loss, whether it be of a pet, a loved on, a relationship... Hell, even a tube of paint or your keys. Losing things, although it certainly makes us human, it also makes us fucking crazy. Painting these forgotten objects (well, trash really) allows me to let go of and accept other things I've lost, while still maintaining the love and appreciation I had for them when they were a more current fixture in my life.

I think I'll be okay, now. I'm glad I was able to share this with the individuals that read my blog- I got issues and opinions, mang. I got 'em. It's 4:00 in the damn morning, and I should be sleeping, but this epiphany (and a really great feeling about the piece I'm working on, due to said epiphany) has me wired- I won't finish this new piece tonight, but I'll be damned if I leave this studio before it comes to some kind of resolve. 

I'm damn happy that I chose this path in life. I think I'm on the right one. Thanks for reading my word vomit, it was wonderful to get it out of my system.

The Anthropology of (another) Painting, Part II

Tonight I made some more than necessary revisions on a newer piece, and wanted to share the results with you- initially, the space in this painting, titled Hymnal, was very dreamlike and ... Well, fluffy. The painting was too fluffy, especially when you consider the subject matter of the piece (a group of individuals witnessing a hanging, plus the absence of that person... pretty heavy shit).

I solved the fluff problem by simply adding a ground plane (which allows for the viewer to actually see that the individuals below are on the ground), and revamping the tea bags, as well as adding in a nice, flat background. I think the overall composition is far more successful now, and evokes a sense of foreboding and acceptance, which was the goal for this piece. 

Let me know what you think in the comments- OR, tell me what YOU get from the painting. I'm working on my artist statement right now, so I would appreciate what the general public gets from my work, so I can tailor my statement for a better sense of understanding (for someone viewing my work that isn't familiar with it or me).

Thanks for your help! (PS- if you're a friend on Facebook, the color in the green painting is far more accurate- for whatever reason, blogger's interface isn't a fan of grey/green.)

The Anthropology of a Painting

This week, I took some time and documented a painting I was working on throughout the various stages of completion- the results were interesting! Check it out below.

This is one of my favorite parts about my process- looking back at all of the "progress" photos to see how I've grown through the different stages of the painting. VERY exciting! Also, here's the still life I set up for the occasion- obviously this was painted with more natural light.

Website Launch: 10/5/2014

Click here

Check it out! My professional website has launched!

Untitled Life Post #1

This week's update is more of a photo montage than anything else, folks. I've just been so busy! I've done things! I painted with tea! I spilled coffee (intentionally!) all over my screen prints, I've painted, and hey, I turned 26, too! I'm just so damned exciting. So here, friends- have a photo or seven.

Here are a few photos from my recent edition in my screen printing class- I took a two-layer print and just went nuts with some black coffee. Successful? I think so- kinda. Though I'm not new to screen printing, I haven't done it in years, so I'm a little behind on figuring myself out this semester (as far as that goes).

In my advanced painting course, we worked from a model last week- rather happy with my results.

In another course, I made a mess. I enjoyed the mess, but nonetheless, I made one.

I just finished this little baby up today- VERY happy with the results! 

Oh- have a birthday selfie, too.

Enjoy, folks! I'll have more for you soon! Maybe I'll even get off my ass and make a real website!

Abstraction: The New (and perhaps final?) Frontier

My work has taken a new turn, friends! After those small studies from last week, I took the plunge into objective abstraction. Though this began as an assignment for my contemporary abstraction course, it blossomed into what could be the direction I continue to follow for the remainder of my time in graduate school (who am I kidding, this could change in ten minutes.. Bear with me.).

This new direction really allows for me to fully execute what I'm trying to say conceptually in my work- absense/presence. Time/space. Fresh memories/things we've forgotten. THIS has been a huge help for sure.

What's extra exciting about these pieces is that they're exponentially LARGER than previous posts' artwork. The first piece is 2x2', where this piece is even larger, at 28x32", I believe. I think the size really allows for the viewer to feel a bit more immersed in the piece, though I'll say that sometimes the wee little ones hold my attention, as well!

This piece is actually only 8x10", and though I wasn't happy with it at first, I can now see how size really doesn't matter (heh.) in paintings, as long as you can effectively communicate what it is that you need to say as an artist.

WOO! Again, thank you readers, for following me in my journey through graduate school! Side note- my birthday is a week from today. Only 6 days left of being 25!! Life is a wonderful thing.

XOXO,

C.

The Importance of Peanut Butter & Studio Tour!

Peanut butter. Always keep it in your studio for quick protein, unless you have a nut allergy... Then don't. Though I don't have it currently, I recommend organic and/or natural- less sugar and honestly tastes better than this Planters' crap I have right now.

This weekend was... Well, I can't come up with a more professional word for it, so we'll go with crazy. The Graduate Art Association hung a really great looking show (more photos this week, I'm so excited!), I cleaned my studio (as well as a terrifying prop room), and started a larger painting.

Also, the most important part: I finally figured out exactly how to put my paintings into words. The artist statement is real, dear readers. It's real, and here it is:

My work investigates the relationship between absence and presence, and how these separate entities work together to create memories in the human mind. These recollections allow us to hold onto important moments in our lives; much like the photographs and keepsakes we gradually obtain to remind us of occasions that matter.  In my paintings, I choose to work with objects of daily use that are not traditionally viewed as valuable, and compose them via repetition, obstruction, and various stages of resolution to persuade the viewer that these objects are of a more precious nature, much like the relics we collect for the same purpose.
 In my paintings, I hope for the viewer to take with them a quiet understanding of the impermanence of life; that every moment counts, regardless of its significance, and that before we know it, it’s gone.

I'm still going to continue to tweak it as time goes on, but for right now, I'm working towards keeping it simple. Before I choked that statement out today (seriously, it flew out of me faster than I've ever written a statement in my entire artistic career... I have a Bachelor's Degree, WHY AM I SO BAD AT STATEMENTS.)

I'm feeling good. So good that I also got around to taking some proper photos of my studio! I love to share what's going on in my life, including the space I work/essentially live in. Here goes!

This is the most important part of my studio- my easel and palette. What's really awesome about this part of the space is the easel itself- my grandfather built it for me last year, and I'm in love with it. Handmade ALWAYS trumps manufactured- it's unique, and made with love. That matters. It's also huge- that painting is 2x2', for some perspective.

Here's a photo of the painting- I'm excited about this one. I think the four little studies I did this week are REALLY going to feed the content of this piece.

That fabric, though. I'm planning to recreate a painting aI did last semester with it, as well as my mud-covered Doc Martens. It's gonna be a good time.

UNICORNS AND KITTENS ARE DETRIMENTAL TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS STUDIO. Also, magic legs.

If you haven't got one, buy a copy of Gray's Anatomy. It's wonderful- and no, I don't mean the television show... I've never even watched it.

So there we be! I work in a great space- it's not too small, and not too big; it's just right, which is exactly how I'm finally feeling about the direction of my work; and that's what matters, right? Right.

Until the next blurb,

C.

Do Werk.

This week has been a whirlwind of busy- between planning for my first meeting as the President of our student organization on campus, as well as getting ready for our Fall club exhibition, things have been a little nuts. BUT- I got a few new pieces done that I'm happy to share with you.

This semester, I'm taking a Contemporary Abstraction class- I decided to look into the information we've been talking about, and applied it to my own work, which is how these 4 pieces came about. I'm planning to tweak them a little bit, and potentially add more pieces in to make a panoramic sort of image, but here's what we've got going on so far!

Here's the first piece, titled, "Dreamcatcher." Though it's small (I generally use a lot of 8x10" canvases- I really enjoy the intimacy of small paintings), I feel it holds its own as a work of art, rather than a study. I'm currently letting it dry, as I may go back into it a bit yet. Here are the rest, enjoy!

"The Tangled Web," 8x10", oil on canvas. 2014.

Untitled, oil on canvas, 2014.

Untitled, oil on canvas, 2014.

It's highly likely that I'll be going back into these pieces as I work more through this series- I'm thinking of doing ten, just so I can really work out how this applies to my work (I already know that, it's just putting it into words. See last post for my issues with that!) 

ALSO- Look for a post about the upcoming show I'm in with my fellow grad peers this week, as well as a post about my artist statement- I'M FINALLY READY TO RE-FORMAT!

This is exciting. This is real.

We Don't Want A Strong Concept!

In the graphic design building on campus, a student posted the title of this post on the wall, somewhat protesting the need for a strong concept in graphic design. While hilarious and snarky, it does ask an important question that I sometimes often struggle with-

What is the importance of a concept in visual art? Why is it that artists, critics, etc. feel that the makers of art have to have some strong, deep conceptual backing to hold their work accountable?

As children, we start making art simply to fulfill the need for a creative outlet- somewhere to expel energy without ripping the house apart, or something like that. We made art because we wanted to, and at that point, it was enough.

As adults, so many of us are plagued with the question, "So, what is your work about?" 

Simply stating that it's about the damn vase on the table and how the light bounced off the ceramic isn't really ever the answer that's acceptable. Take my work for example- while I do have a concept that I feel is developing into something quite strong and well thought out, I still struggle regularly with how to word it, how to paint it, and why the hell I'm even bothering in the first place.

This is not an orange.

It isn't that the struggle is all that debilitating- I really enjoy mentally working out compositions and how said compositions drive a particular point home. What makes things difficult for me personally as an artist is getting those organized thoughts from my head to paper, or to mouth, whatever you like. In my brain box, everything makes sense- this relates to this, and so on... When it comes out of my mouth, it sounds like jumbled word vomit that no one wants to clean up.

Does anyone else have this problem? I know I have this problem. It's a problem.

I'm really hoping that in the oncoming months, I can figure out how to fully articulate what I want to communicate in my work, as well as why I find this method of creation important to my own personal growth, and to the growth of the art world, as well.

Also not an orange- I like to think of this as my struggle with the  Dionysian and Apollonian dichotomy, and its role in factory farming.

Happy painting!

Best,

C.